the black journal
10/18/2016 8:53:00 PM
There’s this black hard covered journal I started in 1987. I suppose I thought I would fill it with creative writing within the year. I’ve carried that black journal with me since then. Tonight as I was cleaning out my closet I found it again in with all the colored karate belts and love letters and post secondary diplomas and high school year books.

I started the journal with a story about a girl named Penelope. The story was picked up many times over 10 years or so. Each time her adventure continued where it left off. She met a wizard and felt safe and secure when she looked into his deep eyes.

In amongst the stories were recorded facts about where I was living at the time, where I was working, who I was in love with…and sometimes what I had learned about life so far. Each entry showed a more mature person writing. From silly poems in high school to quotes by Sartre, and life lessons learned. Throughout it even with sad events was a sense of joy and happiness.

Sept 27, 1989 (double spaced)

So for once just say what you want without being afraid of what lies between the lines. After all, if you write the lines you should be able to decide what it is you want to put in them, and what lies between them. That is today’s message. LOOK into it. - Lorrie”

Ok so not everything I wrote was insightful and brilliant. But some of what I read and felt it was worth noting was…like this quote.

“Could there be a more uncomfortable position intellectually than floating in the thin air of unproved possibilities, not knowing whether what one sees is truth or illusion?” - Carl Jung

This entry sometime in January 1993 was a poem I wrote after hearing on the news that Dod, a convicted killer was executed by hanging. His final meal was seafood, potatoes and lemonade.


Jesus that’s morbid. I used to be a little drawn to the dark side. There was a cute little post about my dog Ren. In August 21, 1994 - “I have a dog now - Ren. He is my best friend. He’s a funny little critter who shits in my brothers room. He’s got a bad temper and has bitten me on numerous occasions. I still have a mark on my wrist from the time he bit me a month and a 1/2 ago. He thinks he is the master…. He knows when I’m talking about him. He chases shadows. He has a best friend too! Not me though - Mickey the beakler that belongs at the farm. They play in joyous doggy bliss.”

My handwriting has changed so much, sometimes to suit the entry. It’s never the same throughout the book. It’s like I change it as often as my personas. I think that was the designer in me, styling the writing to match the content.

In 2006 I wrote, “I have a long way to go in life. I want to live the most joyful and loving life. I want to share my experiences with my kids and find that partner. I know he’s out there. But most importantly I know what’s ‘in here’ is enough to be thankful and joyous from this moment on.”

Ten years had passed since my last entry in that journal. I wrote an update this evening to catch up to my life so far. It’s like a highlight reel - even more condensed than this blog. 3 pages for 10 years. I think the book will last a lifetime at this rate. I suppose my daughter will get to know her mother through her writing, but I hope that she remembers her mother through her giggling and sense of adventure.
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Last 10 entries
two thousand and seventeen : 1/31/2017 : 4:44:00 PM
Luck, awareness and quantum entanglement : 11/19/2016 : 11:11:00 AM
the black journal : 10/18/2016 : 8:53:00 PM
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The practice : 8/9/2016 : 9:07:00 PM
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Happiness and intelligence : 7/7/2016 : 11:11:00 PM
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